Home Study Visit

This past weekend was busy for us.  Spent most of the day getting ready for the social worker who was coming to do the home visit.  Everyone in my house (all three of them) kept asking why we had to do so much.  The truth was that we didn't do anything overly special, the house just needed a really good cleaning!  And I got all my Christmas decorations out of the guest room (soon to be baby's room) and back in the attic.  So relieved that is done!  

So Sunday at noon we snuck out of church as soon as the pastor finished, and headed home to grab a quick bite to eat before the case worker got here.  Of course, she got lost, because almost everyone does trying to get here for the first time.  It's not hard, but sometimes people get turned around.  

The girls were nervous because they had been told that they might have to talk with  her by themselves.  They were getting a little worked up over it and since I didn't think they would actually have to do that, I told them it was very unlikely.  That settled them a bit, thankfully.  Turns out though, that I shouldn't have said that.  They did have to talk to her by themselves but did great.  I was a little afraid the youngest would get upset and not talk, but all went smoothly.  She was very nice and put us all at ease.  After about two hours, we were finished and she left us with the next step: more paperwork!  

I spent most of today off and on the phone with our doctor's office.  I called to make an appointment to get a physical done so that the doctor could fill out a physician's report and give a statement saying we are healthy enough to parent.  All was fine until I told them that the report had to be notarized.  That's was when I was told, "No, we can't do that."

Me: "What do you mean, you can't do that??  You are the only doctor we have seen for the last 15 years!  If you can't do it, who will?  You have all my medical records!"

I couldn't exactly go to an unknown doctor and ask for this.  I think they might find that a little weird and think I'm hiding something since I'm not asking my real doctor for this info. The issue was that they don't have an in-house notary, so we are taking one with us!  Fun, Fun for all!  After about 8-10 calls back and forth to and from the doctor's office, with other issues about this cropping up along the way, we finally have an appointment to have blood drawn and another to get the results, the report, and the notarization.  Whew!  Who knew it would be so much work for a little signature!  :)

Got our marriage and birth certificates ordered, registered for some online training we have to take, started reading a book we have to read for the process, took pictures of us and the house, got reference letters/forms prepped to give out to a few people, copied TDL's and SSN's, filled out more paperwork, and got another notarization.  It was a lot to do but I have felt so productive over the last two days!

Please know I'm not complaining and I really hope it doesn't come across that way.  I'm wanting to document the process, the aggravating issues and the smooth issues.  I knew going in there would be a TON to do and that's no lie.  But you do what you have to do and this is it and I'm good with that.  

Orientation Interview

So, we had our first interview today.  Bret and I spoke on the phone with Brittney, our caseworker at Lifeline.  She asked us a ton of questions about ourselves: Have you had cancer?  How do your kids feel about adoption?  How long have you been working for your employer?  Have you ever been arrested?  Have you ever used drugs?  Do you drink regularly?  Have you ever been involved in a domestic violence situation?  And the list goes on and on.  Fortunately they were easy questions and easy answers.  And she said there were no red flags that she was concerned about for the home study portion of this process.  WooHoo!  First test: Passed!

We received the paperwork for the home study process; it's extensive.  They weren't kidding when they said there was lots of paperwork.  And we have barely begun.  I know there's no time frame we have to have this done by, but I feel like I have to fill it all out as quickly as possible.  Obviously, the sooner we do, the sooner our boy can come home.  Brittney told us today that once our dossier is completed here and sent to Ethiopia, we will have to wait about 6-7 months for a referral.  The referral is when they have a child picked out for you.  I didn't know it took that long, but apparently that's actually fast.  Feels like a long time.  

On Sunday we will have the first visit to our home by our home study caseworker, Jo.  That's a little nerve wracking.  I'm glad it's only two days away; less time to get worked up over it.  The girls will be here and will talk to Jo too.  Already praying about what is going to come out of their mouths! 

I know I'll be cleaning all day tomorrow too!  I was told by a friend who has done this that they don't come to look at the cleanliness of the house...but I'll be scrubbing toilets anyway.  :) This is actually a really good thing because all my Christmas stuff is in the guest room right now.  The guest room will become our little boy's bedroom.  I'm thinking that room should be a little more presentable and so it's great motivation to get all the Christmas stuff back to the attic where it belongs.  (Aren't you excited about that, Bret?!)  


Next on my list is to get stuff like birth and marriage certificates, read a book they asked us to read, and start some online training we will need to have completed.  Plus fill out paperwork.  The journey continues!

Somewhere A Tree Cried

Well, we received our Ethiopia Adoption Manual and several other documents.  Printed the whole thing out (lots o paper) and signed the appropriate papers.  I scanned in all the needed docs and tried to send it to her via email, but apparently the file was too big.  So I'm guessing the hard copy mailed to her will have to do.  

Guess I didn't mention who "her" is.  We met our contact at Lifeline and her name is Brittney!  She is very nice and helpful and I'm looking forward to working with her. 

I tried to pay our first payment online and had issues.  So after phone calls and emails, it's on it's way to being fixed.  Paypal is so much fun. (Can you hear my sarcasm?) We'll have to try again in a few days.  Crazy how I'm so anxious to pay out large sums of money. 

I think we have found the social worker who will be doing our home study.  I was given her name a few weeks ago and we've been trying to figure out if she can do the work for us since she is an independent social worker.  Think we've got it straightened out finally.  Our agency is located in Alabama and they do not have social workers here that they use.  They advised me that I could find one online, but I felt better contacting someone who was referred. 

I'm learning that there is so much to this adoption process that I never even imagined.  The rules for a social worker, the tasks we will have to do for the home study, etc.  And I know I haven't even scratched the surface yet!  I'm not complaining; I don't mind doing all these things.  There is just so much that I never knew!  

Bret and I talked the other day about getting siblings instead of just one.  I felt like it was something I'd be open to, but Bret wasn't on the same page as me.  So for once, my crazy thoughts didn't go any further and I was fine with that.  We are not sure that this will be our only adoption, but we are only going with one this time.  

Thinking about and praying for our little boy is hard sometimes since I don't even know if he's born yet.  But I pray for him and his family, specifically his mother.  I don't know how or why she will have to give up her precious boy, but I know it will be terribly hard and I am so sad for what that will be like for each of them.  I wish it didn't have to happen, I wish that he could stay with her and remain happy, I wish there were no orphans for us to care for and take in.  But Christ was clear that there will be orphans , and we are the ones who need to step in and do what He is asking us to do in order for them to be cared for.  Whatever that may be.  

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. James 1:27

Never Say Never

For those (all 7 of you) that read this blog only to be up to date on our adoption journey, look away.  This post won't have much to do with adoption.  I'm finding this blogging thing to be a bit therapeutic, so I wanted to occasionally write about other things.  Forgive me.  It won't be the least bit interesting for ya'll...except maybe my mom.  (Hi, Mom!)

One of the reasons I titled this blog the way I did is because I've gotten to the point where I never know what to expect next.  God has a way of bringing things into my life that I never thought I'd do.  Like adoption.  Like homeschooling.  (I've definitely learned to stop saying the word 'never'.  Just one example of many: I once passed a street named Flax Bourton.  When I saw it I said, "What a stupid name for a street.  I will never live on a street named Flax Bourton." A few weeks later we moved into a house on Flax Bourton.  True story.)  


So, anyway, I'm in a state of wondering what God is up to in my life.  He's been bringing lots of things to my attention lately and not just about adoption.  I feel like He is in the process of showing me things that will drastically change up the way I see things, the way I do things.  In general, just messing up my nice comfortable life.  Part of me wants to bury my head and go about my business.  And part of me wonders what it all means and what do I do about it.  


I'm hoping and praying that He won't let me miss it.  Which is silly because I know He won't, not if I truly want to know His will and become more like Him.  So, I keep on, fighting my tendency to be lazy (not winning that battle much) and just live my life, tending to only those things that need daily attention.  But I feel like there is something more. 


On an adoption note: AJ has decided on three names she likes for our little boy when he gets here.  Squinkie, Marsupial, and Santa.  Hmmm.  Can't say any of those are doing it for me.  We'll have to keep searching. 

 

Stay Tuned...

I think we might have a fundraiser for this adventure!  

I am NOT crafty, creative, handy, or artistic; nor do I have the skills (read: desire) to learn to be.  At least not at the moment.  

So when I thought about all the cute and creative things that people have done to raise money to bring their children home, I was at a loss.  

But a month or so ago, I came across an idea that someone else was doing.  On impulse, I asked her if she would consider handing the idea over to me once she was done raising money for her daughter in China.  

I got an email last night about it and she has decided to let me take over!  We will be talking soon about how to exchange materials and for her to teach me how to do it.  

Hopefully I'll be posting our fundraising item very soon!  Stay Tuned...

It's a Boy!

Did I mention we are getting a boy?  I don't think I did.  Duh.

Yes, we have two beautiful, intelligent daughters and I'd be happy with more.  But Bret would like to have some more testosterone around here.  (Even the cats are female.) So it was pretty much a no-brainer when it came to choosing a sex.  (And while we have a child that loves to play outside, climb trees, owns a pocket knife, and has a boy as a best friend...she still has hormones that cause DRAMA!) Bret and I both would like to NOT add to the theatrics around here.  

I've had several people ask about how long this process takes.  There is really no definite time frame.  The average, they say, is 12 to 15 months.  But I know some that are shorter and others that went on much longer.  Hoping that since the Ethiopian program at Lifeline has just reopened, our wait time might be shorter.  But God knows and I'm trusting in His perfect timing.  

Today is the day I'm mailing (digitally) the agency application.  The first of many milestones and much paperwork.  Where's my binder??

Picking a Country

We couldn't decide if we wanted to go through this process independently or through an agency.  Independent is significantly cheaper but it's virtually impossible to do (in my opinion) without some sort of contact on the other side of the world.  How do you know if the person you are wiring money to is legit?  You need someone on the other end to help you with those sorts of details.  


We contacted missionaries we knew in Latvia, Russia, and India.  All three, we found out, are Hague countries.  Which basically means that they don't allow independent adoptions.  That seemed to settle that question for us: we would go through an agency. 

But what country?  What agency?  How do you decide where to get your child?? 


Of course, by this time, the holidays were upon us.  With the craziness of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, not a lot of conversations about this were happening.  Finally on Sunday morning, New Year's Day, I sat on the bed before church and said, "What are we going to do?"  Our options, we felt, were Eastern European or Ethiopia.  Those were the two areas we felt drawn toward.  Bret's only hesitation with Russia or other areas in that region, was the length of time we would need to stay in the country.  We weren't sure we could stay a month or more.  Bret's response, "That leaves Ethiopia".  And again, just like that, the decision was made.


Apparently that's how we do things: don't make a decision for days, weeks, months...and then decide in five minutes.  At least I know we had been praying about it or I'd worry that it was a rash decision.  

All of our parents and siblings know about our decision to adopt.  Everyone who we have told has been supportive and encouraging, and I can't tell you how grateful I am for that.  


I filled out the initial application for the adoption agency today and will be emailing it in the morning.  We are planning to use Lifeline as our agency.  It is Christian based and they recently re-opened their Ethiopia program. 

I'm praying that we get just the right caseworker, home study agent, etc.  But most importantly that He will send us just the right little boy for our family.  Any prayers you say for us and him would be greatly appreciated!